


February Air

by theabbeygrange



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5998672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theabbeygrange/pseuds/theabbeygrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Gwaine has a secret admirer, Arthur is amused, and Merlin is incredibly dense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day!

The problem, I've decided, with being mates with The Princess and His Sorcerer is that I often end up shoved somewhere in the background.

To start with, you have His Royal Pratliness, the hero: quiet, broody, and far too confident for his own good. When he isn't wearing his surname like it's some kind of fancy armour, he's really quite cuddly.

And then there's The Most Wizardly Wizard of All Wizards: cheerful, kind, and constantly underfoot. Usually because he's fallen over. Again. But most importantly, he has the highest of all honours: the much coveted distinction of being best mates with two of Camelot College's most handsome and eligible bachelors.

Ahem.

And then there's me.

My name doesn't warrant any unnecessary capital letters or fancy titles. Sure, I'm devilishly handsome and have great hair, but I don't have much else going for me; not like they do, anyway. Merlin will say that I do give him a run for his money in one very specific way: I magically find myself in _really_ unfortunate situations. And it isn't ever even my fault!

Except that one time with the hungover goat and the apple. I take full responsibility for that one.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not bitter about it. Well, hardly ever, and only when it costs me a lovely lady. Or three.

But, as I discovered one fateful and slightly mortifying morning, there was one lady who was keen on pulling me to the forefront of one of our lovely tales.

"Shut it, Arthur," I hissed through gritted teeth.

Arthur, who was laughing so hard he was having trouble breathing, snorted unattractively and proceeded to bray at an octave that put Lady Helen to shame.

"Shut. Up." I snapped again, dangerously close to slaughtering him with my spork.

I could see tears. Stars, how I wished it was my fist that had put them there.

"Damnit Arthur, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Oh, wonderful. Now that I've got the attention of everyone in this bloody school, shall I ask them to bear witness to this ridiculous spectacle?

Arthur, bless him, had toned it down to a mild chortle. This did nothing to deter the Spork of Doom.

What, might you ask, could cause our normally reserved princeling to embrace his inner donkey?

It appeared as though I had a secret admirer. And by _appeared_ I mean it was loudly announced, quite spectacularly, when my pancakes started singing.

The hastily shouted "GWAINE!" that was meant to replace the "I'm" in Sexy and I Know It was a bit poorly timed, causing the chorus to sound more like "I'm Gwainsy and I know it." I couldn't decide whether to be mortified, flattered, shocked - or angry with the moron sitting next to me who still hadn't shut the hell up.

Merlin glanced from me, to my pancakes, to Arthur. I studied his expression, suddenly desperate to know what he thought of the situation; it was obviously magic. But his face was an unreadable mask. That had been happening a lot of late.

"Arthur," Merlin admonished, giving him a withering look.

Arthur, to my complete surprise, immediately shut up.

How in the buggering _hell_ did Merlin do that?

Merlin poked suspiciously at my pancakes, lifting one with a fork to check underneath it. "Who gave you these?"

I blinked. Who _did_ give them to me? I glanced furtively around the hall, studying the students and surly looking kitchen staff. The whole thing would have sounded completely absurd had it not actually been happening.

Why am I always the butt?

My gaze settled on Merlin again and I felt a faint flicker of hope die in my chest. Judging by the frown he was sporting, I took a wild leap and decided that he probably hadn't been the one to enchant them.

Not that I wanted him to or anything. It was just good to narrow down the list of suspects.

"I don't know, mate. Could've been anyone. It's not like they left a card."

"You must have some idea," Merlin, inexplicably, sounded more than a little irritated. "You probably led on one of the younger students without realising it."

" _Led on one of the younger students!?_ " I spluttered, horrified. "Merlin, mate, I'm telling you, I have no idea who did this!"

He set his fork down and regarded the pancakes speculatively. His eyes caught Arthur's and they shared a long, deep, meaningful look. They were clearly communicating _something_ to each other, but exactly _what_ they were communicating was a complete and utter mystery to me.

They'd clearly come to some sort of telepathic agreement, because Arthur cleared his throat and put his Serious Voice on. "Gwaine," he began. I distantly wondered if the Serious Voice would have a stronger effect if he didn't have a bit of egg on his chin. "It's very important that you try and think of anyone who could have done this."

I stared at him. Had he _not_ heard me the first hundred times I'd said that I had no bloody idea who had given me enchanted singing pancakes?

"Morgana!" I shouted suddenly. "It must've been Morgana! She must be- has- has designs on me, or something!"

Arthur's face paled. "Morgana?" He repeated. "You think _Morgana_ is your secret admirer?"

We were suddenly surrounded by loud snickers. Damn this stupid school and its echoey mausoleum of architecture. Everything carried. There are no secrets in Camelot.

A part of me wondered if that's exactly what Uther had had in mind when he commissioned the place.

"No, Arthur," I ground out. _But thank you for announcing it to the entire school_. "I think she did it to _embarrass_ me."

He and Merlin shared another long look. What the bloody hell were they discussing? And why couldn't they say it out loud? Arthur gave a barely imperceptible nod and that seemed to be Merlin's cue to pick up where Arthur left off.

I found this to be very, very annoying.

"No, I don't think so," he said. His tone indicated that he was frantically making random connections in his head. I worried he might short circuit. "No," he said again. "It's too much work. She would have sent something much louder and fancier, besides. This," he gestured to my still warbling pancakes, "took time. I think only someone who was really serious would have bothered with it."

"I resent that statement. I'm worth _at least_ ten enchanted pancakes."

Arthur and Merlin stared at me.

"Just saying," I muttered, a tad miffed.

Arthur grinned cheekily. "Gwaine's got a secret admirer!" He crowed. "Someone is in luuuuuurve with ickle Gwainsy..."

"Shut up, Pendragon."

"Someone wants to snog you, and marry you, and have your fantastically haired babies..."

I was actually starting to blush. "Shut your stupid gob, Arthur!"

"Oi, Gwaine!" Elyan yelled from the other end of the table. "Can I be your best man?"

"Hang on!" Arthur called back. "If anyone's going to be his best man, it'll be me!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Shut the hell up, all of you!"

"What about me?" Percival hollered.

Merlin huffed out a long breath and shot me an annoyed look. What the hell did _I_ do!? How is this my fault!?

I tried to catch his eye and do the whole speaking without talking thing that he and Arthur seemed so fond of, but failed miserably.

"What?" Merlin asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, of course not. I wasn't staring at you or anything. I was, uh - staring at the wall!"

Merlin gave me an odd look and buried his face in his hands (to cover his not at all manly giggles, I suspect) as Arthur shoved my pancakes into his glass so the entirety of the hall could listen to I'm Gwainsy and I Know It in stereo. 

* * *

"What were you and Arthur going on about earlier?" I asked as Merlin and I made our way to the dorms.

Merlin gave me a confused look. "When?"

I waved my hand, nearly smacking him the face. "You know, at breakfast. Why is it so important for you to know who my secret admirer is?"

"Oh, that," his hesitant tone instantly put me on edge. "Well, you know..."

I stared at him. "No, Merlin, I don't know. Unlike yourself and the Princess, communicating without speaking isn't actually my strong suit. Which is why I'm _asking_."

"You're not going to like the answer," he sighed.

"I like not knowing the answer even less."

"It's just that..." He trailed off and bit his lip thoughtfully. "With Nimueh still roaming around god knows where and her weird obsession with revenge, we just-. We need to be careful."

What kind of crap explanation was that?

"I don't know about you and His Royal Highness, but _I am_ careful. I use a rubber and everyth-"

"What? Stars, no, Gwaine, that isn't -" he spluttered. "Wait, _me and Arthur_? What makes you think there's a me and Arthur?" He had turned a lovely shade of red.

"I didn't mean together, you numpty, and you're avoiding the question."

He hesitated again. "There might have been a possibility that..."

" _Yes_?" I prodded.

"That, perhaps, she was using you to get to Arthur."

I felt like I had been sucker punched in the chest. Right. Of course Merlin's first thought would be about Arthur. Not like it was _my_ stupid valentine or anything.

"Oh stars, you're angry," he said, sounding a little fearful. "I knew it would upset yo- Arthur!"

"No, Merlin," I ground out. "I'm Gwaine. _Gwaine_ , who I _thought_ you considered a good friend-" Merlin clamped a hand over my mouth and spun me around to face the other end of the hallway. There was Arthur, deep in conversation with Elena Godwyn, the school pariah. It was unfortunate, really, because she was cute in a toddly sort of way. If she wasn't constantly muttering about killer fairies and wielding glitter bombs like they were some kind of weapon, I think she'd actually be alright.

I didn't see what the big deal was, and besides, I was far more distracted by the fact that Merlin's hand was pressed against my mouth. If I moved my lips a little I might be able to -

Merlin yanked his hand away and pulled me back down the hall in the direction we had just come from. He poked his head around the corner and watched them with obvious suspicion. "He's talking to her again."

"So?" I asked.

"Yes, _please_ , speak a little louder, Gwaine, I don't think the students three floors down could hear you!" He admonished. "He talks to her a lot."

"So?" I asked again, not bothering to lower my voice at all.

He pulled his head back from around the corner and pressed his back against the wall. Eyes downcast, he said, "I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes I feel like Arthur keeps things from us. Not that he's obligated to tell us _everything_ , but it's like he feels more comfortable talking to Elena than to m- us."

I hated to see him so sad. "Hey," I said, trying to sound comforting. "We're Arthur's friends. So what if he's found some sort of connection with Godwyn the Gullible? That's great if he feels comfortable with her. That doesn't make us any less his best mates."

Then he was hugging me, a whispered, "thank you, Gwaine," tickling my ear. Merlin was hugging me! He was _in my arms!_ I could _smell_ him! Merlin was... Pulling away from me. Oh balls.

He stepped back and I took no small amount of pride in the smile on his face. "I'm sorry for saying that about your valentine," he apologised. "Of course you'd have a secret admirer. Someone was bound to notice that you're not all whiffy feet and ale." He squinted at me. "Although... Do you think they know about the time with goat and the-"

"Right, that's enough squishy feelings for one day," I interrupted. "I've got to get to practise." I am a master of deflection.

"I'll be in the library." Merlin said, hurrying off. "See you later!"

I couldn't do anything but stare after him as he walked away, still revelling in the feel of his scrawny body in my arms. Feeling slightly dazed, I started making my way down the corridor, planning on continuing back to the dorms to change into my rugby kit. I turned the corner and stopped in my tracks, completely forgetting that Arthur and Elena were still involved in a deep and meaningful conversation.

Said deep and meaningful conversation came to an abrupt end as I walked toward them.

"Hi, Gwaine," Elena greeted and promptly tripped, which was particularly confusing considering the fact that she hadn't moved. The hug she gave me was an awkward collision that involved her ear somehow ending up pressed to my abdomen and her arms wrapped around my bum.

Arthur, damn him, looked extremely amused. "Gwaine! Have you decide yet where to put your brilliant valentine? The common area could certainly use some livening up."

Elena looked up at me with wide blue eyes. "Oh yes!" She exclaimed in an oddly breathy voice. Or perhaps it was just a wheeze. Her neck really was at an odd angle. "What did you do with it?"

It probably would have been smart to just burn the blasted things. Or eat them. But then I thought of the possibility of my bowels bursting into song and immediately decided that saving them was probably the best plan. They were hidden safely in a wad of napkins beneath my bed.

So, naturally, faced with the earnest expression on Elena's face and the infuriating smirk on Arthur's, I lied.

"I threw them out."

Elena extricated herself and slowly stood upright. "Oh," she said softly, sounding completely unaffected by the whole thing. "You should have kept them. The fairies told me that love is the strongest magic of all, you know."

Odd girl, Elena Godwyn.

"Right, I'll, uh, keep that in mind."

Her smile was so bright that I briefly wondered if she had eaten some of her glitter. "That's wonderful news!"

"Right," I cleared my throat. "Quite right. Ready to head to practise, Princess?"

Arthur turned to me, an unreadable look on his face. "Right, yeah. I'll see you later, Ellie."

I was surprised when he pulled her into a tight hug and released her with a small grin.

Inexplicable hugs, nicknames, secretive conversations in badly lit hallways? Maybe Merlin was onto something after all. Clearly, Arthur saw something in Elena that no one else in the school could see. Since subtlety is not my strong suit, second only to my inability to communicate telepathically, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"What the hell is going on between you and Elena?"

Arthur glared at me and glanced behind us to make sure that Elena wasn't in hearing distance. "I wouldn't expect you to understand," he hissed.

Alarm bells began going off in my head. Arthur didn't look like he was about to start yelling, but when it came to Arthur, looks could be very, very deceiving. Taking care to tread carefully, I said, "What the actual _hell_ , Arthur!? She's completely mad. Have you met her? She's obviously off her head. Take it from me, you'd do well to avoid girls like her. They're all sorts of Nope."

Then again, perhaps that hadn't come out as gently as I thought.

Arthur went completely still and got that dangerous look in his eyes. The one that flashed a clear warning signal that Trouble Lie Ahead, Proceed With Caution. Obviously, I had already cocked that part up, as per usual. "Have you even _once_ taken the time to talk to her? You don't know the first thing about her, Gwaine. Everyone assumes the worst of her because of the stupid bullshit other people say." He met my eyes coolly. "I can relate to that."

Thank the stars that he hadn't yelled all that, because I didn't need any witnesses to see just how small I felt at that very moment.

He shook his head in disgust and stalked off.

I stood awkwardly behind him for a moment, silently cursing the fact that there was obviously a missing connection between my mind and my mouth. I hurried to catch up to him, but he never bothered to acknowledge my presence. Stars, the guilt I felt.

I begged my useless brain to think. What would Merlin do? He probably wouldn't have bollocksed this whole thing up to begin with. But if he had, then perhaps he would have gone all glassy eyed and blotchy. He'd apologise and give Arthur what they would call a hug, but what the world at large would consider to be a cuddle, and maybe give him a quick kiss on the cheek for good measure. Then he'd pull away, stare into Arthur's eyes, and ask him quietly if he wanted to talk.

Which, of course, was so sickeningly adorable that it worked every damn time.

However, I certainly wasn't about to hug Arthur. Kissing of any sort of cheeks was also out. But the eye contact and therapy session, I could do. "Arthur," I began nervously, trying and failing to catch his eye. "Do you, er... want to talk?"

"No." He replied shortly.

Balls. Well, perhaps going the honest route would work. "I'm just trying to understand, mate-" 

Arthur shoved the dorm room door open with a bang and yanked his gym bag out from under a pile of two week old laundry. "Look," he turned around abruptly and crossed his arms. "There are things that Elena understands about me that you and Merlin can't."

Oh, stars, did I ever hope that Merlin never heard those words. I swallowed heavily. "Like what?"

Arthur stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time before quietly replying, "Elena's mother died when she was nine."

"Oh," I said, feeling like a complete tit. This subject didn't come up very often, but when it did I had to try really hard not to take it personally. Arthur seemed to think that just because my parents were alive and happily married, I couldn't possibly understand his pain.

Perhaps he had a point.

Arthur sighed. "Just... Give her a chance, G. I think you'll be surprised."

I nodded, unsure of what constituted an appropriate response.

He handed me my bag and I followed him out of the dorm room.

* * *

"He's talking to her again."

I looked at Merlin blearily. "Wha?"

"Oh, for-" he huffed and rolled his eyes. "Do you ever pay attention to what's going on around you?"

Not this early in the morning, I didn't. "Who's talking to who?"

Merlin elbowed me in the ribs with his pointy elbows of death and gestured to the other side of the mess hall. "Arthur's talking to Elena. _Again_. He hasn't even bothered to say good morning to m- us yet."

I yawned. "Don't speak ill of The Pixie in front of Arthur, mate. Makes him surly." Merlin stared. "More surly than usual," I amended. "Think there's something going on between those two?"

That, as it turned out, was not a Thing To Ask.

From the way Merlin was looking at me, it was safe to assume that I wouldn't be turning eighteen this year. Fortunately, I was saved from his wrath by a very large brick that fell from the sky and nearly landed on my head.

Handy thing, Merlin's magic.

The brick hovered just long enough for me to move out of the way and then dropped into my beans.

Upon further inspection, I discovered that it wasn't really a brick at all, but an oddly oblong shaped pie. I unwrapped it and took a whiff. A wisp of steam rose up and formed into the shape of a heart before dissipating.

Apple. It was definitely apple.

There was a note smashed on the bottom of the tin that read,

_Gwaine,_

_If you would only look at me with a fraction of the love with which you look upon apples, I would be all the happier for it._

_Your Secret Admirer xx_

"Aha!" I cried triumphantly. "A clue!"

Merlin looked unimpressed. "Nothing says love like a Flying Pie of Death."

"I appreciate anyone who pays attention to my eating habits," I decided. "It's got to be someone who _watches_ me eat..."

I eyed the students in the hall suspiciously, looking for anyone who was eyeing my breakfast with lust. Finding nothing, I turned back to Merlin who was _staring at my food_. Hang on! _Merlin_ knew about my deep and meaningful relationship with apples! Merlin liked me! Merlin was my secret admirer!

"I dunno, mate. From the sheer amount of food you manage to consume, it's not all that surprising that someone fathomed you out." He cleared his throat. "If it were me, I'd come up with something a bit more creative. The food theme is getting to be a bit much."

Right. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I removed the pie from my plate as a means of distracting myself from looking at Merlin. Besides, it wasn't like I _wanted_ Merlin to be my secret admirer. I concentrated on eating the bits of my fry up that the flying pie hadn't destroyed, my stomach rumbling loudly as I did so. The entire ordeal had made me inexplicably _starving_.

"Oh, hello there! Remembered your friends, have you? Surprised we still exist? If you think you can just waltz over here and expect me to look over your econ paper, you're sorely mistaken!"

I choked on my eggs. What in fucking hell was that? I glanced over at Merlin, fully expecting to find myself on the receiving end of one of his terrifying glares. I was pleasantly surprised to see that his furious gaze was _not_ directed at me for once. Interesting. I needed a moment to savour it.

It ended pretty quickly when Arthur stammered, "What? What are you-?"

"Oh, don't even pretend to be so stupid," there were times, rare as they were, that Merlin's angry voice resembled that of a crotchety old man's. This was one of those times. "Are you too busy with _flirting_ with Elena to say good morning to Gwaine and I?"

Arthur glanced over at me helplessly. "I said good morning to you, didn't I?"

"Sure did, mate," I offered him some eggs in sympathy.

This only seemed to incense Merlin further. He smacked my sympathy eggs to the floor and hissed, "Oh, alright then. So it's just _me_ who doesn't warrant a 'good morning'?"

Arthur looked completely bewildered. Merlin didn't usually snipe at him like that. Come to think of it, he usually only sniped at me. Ah, well. It was good to not be on the receiving end of it for once.

Suddenly, Arthur's eyes darkened and the warning signal was back in full force. Unsurprisingly, Merlin was on his feet, brandishing his own wicked gleam of danger.

This was an absolutely wonderful way to start the day.

"This is to do with Elena, isn't it?" Arthur asked. I admired him for getting straight to the point. Brave man.

Merlin took a step closer to him. "No, Arthur. This isn't about _Elena_." The razor edge in his tone could easily cut the tension in the room to ribbons. "It's about _you_. You're the one trading secrets with her!"

"So it is about Elena!" Arthur exclaimed. "If I had been just talking to _Guinevere_ , you wouldn't have a problem with it!" He took a step closer to Merlin, fists clenched.

Abruptly, Merlin's eyes started to glow. You'd think at that point that one of them would back off, wouldn't you? But oh no. No, instead, they continued to move closer! How does any of this make any _sense_!? It was _maddening_. And also really fucking annoying.

"I don't _have_ a problem, Arthur!" Merlin protested and took another step forward. "I just wish," his voice dropped. "I just wish that you felt as comfortable talking to me as you do her."

Arthur stared at him for a long time, which was worrying because they were so close, he was practically cross-eyed. I know the Princess is pretty, but that is a look that not even he could pull off.

Finally, he replied, "Don't be an idiot, Merlin. You know that isn't true. Would it help if I told you 'good morning'?"

Clearly, Arthur's grin was a little bit magic because Merlin immediately softened. I hated it when Arthur used the powers of The Grin. It was the one thing that was a sure-fire way to win Merlin over when all else failed. Unfortunately, my grin had no such effect.

Merlin relaxed and exhaled, but still seemed a bit flushed. "Yeah, I... I suppose so."

"Well then," another grin. "Good morning, Merlin. How are you this morning?"

"Suddenly better, actually" Merlin replied. "How are you?"

"I'm much the same."

More grinning. Of the shared variety this time, so I suppose you could call that progress.

"I'm great too!" I interjected loudly. "Just in case you were wondering."

Two pairs of shockingly blue eyes flicked over to me in surprise. "Good morning, Princess, Merlin," I acknowledged them both and gestured to the table. "How very kind of you to take notice of me. Won't you join me for breakfast? Say what you will about the food, but you can't beat the mess for entertainment."

With perfectly synchronised eye rolls, they sat down. "Gwaine got another gift from his secret admirer," Merlin explained.

I glared at him. "Why yes, in fact, I did."

Surprisingly, Arthur didn't look the least bit amused. "Oh? What was it this time?"

I gestured to the brick of apple pie.

Arthur grinned. At _me_. And damned if I didn't feel special. Thankfully, this mortifying effect wore off after a few short moments and I decided that his stupid grin would never again hold any sort of power over me. But the same couldn't be said for everyone else at the table. I was horrified to see Elyan beginning to grin like a loon. Even _Morgause_ was starting to swoon. A quick glance at Merlin proved that he was likewise preoccupied.

Come off it! Arthur's grin wasn't _that_ great.

"Well," Arthur grinned. "It's obviously someone who knows you very well," he deduced while reading the rumpled note.

My STUPID TRAITOROUS MOUTH actually _grinned back at him_.

"Yeah," I quickly ground out. "Awfully nice of them, wasn't it?"

Arthur put the note down and considered me for a moment. "Any idea who it could be?"

I shook my head. "Not a one."

Merlin placed the pie on my plate, eyes teasing. "Anyone you want it to be?"

I think my gaze might have lingered on Merlin a little too long because Arthur coughed and shifted in his seat. A good mate, is Arthur. Always looking out for me. "No," I replied. "Of course there isn't."


	2. Chapter 2

The Flying Pie incident and subsequent eating of my feelings resulted in a long evening spent on the training field. My excuse, to those who asked, was the upcoming match. It definitely didn't have anything to do with Merlin or unrequited love.

I returned to the dorms after dark with plans to have a shower and log some serious rack time, but stopped short when I entered the common area.

Proudly displayed on the wall was a garish green banner. On it, in glittering silver letters, were the words:

Arthur may be a Princess, but Gwaine will always be my King.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer x

I did the only logical thing one could do in a situation like this.

I bolted.

The only thing I knew for certain was that I needed to get out of there. I ran out of the dorms and skidded to a halt in the game room. I stumbled over to Elyan and Leon, mortified to find that I was out of breath. So much for being fighting fit. "Have you seen Arthur and Merlin?"

They looked up from their game of chess, seemingly less than thrilled at the interruption.

Leon winked at me. "They're in the library," he smirked and lowered his voice. " _Studying,_ if you know what I mean."

Elyan snickered as though Leon had just told a wildly funny joke. "Right, yeah," Elyan seconded with more winking. " _Studying_."

What the hell? Must _everyone_  speak in riddles and half sentences? I decided that they're all as barmy as Kilgarrah the creepy janitor. He never made any sense either.

"What are you two on about? Merlin's on scholarship. Of course he takes studying seriously." I snapped.

They dissolved into a fit of howling laughter.

"Good one, Gwaine!" Leon snorted.

"Absolutely classic," Elyan managed to wheeze out and clutched at his stomach.

"'Merlin takes his studying very seriously' he says!" Leon mocked loudly. This was apparently too much for them to take and they fell out of their chairs and rolled around on the floor like deranged dogs trying to dry their fur on the carpet.

I glared at them and stomped away. "Bloody stupid smarmy gits," I muttered to myself as I made my way to the library. Once there, I discovered Arthur and Merlin sitting at a table in the far corner, a wall of books stacked between them. They appeared to be studying.

"How is this even fair?" Merlin ranted. "Springing some random test on us with only-"

"Two days to prepare," Arthur finished. "Yes, I know. It was good of the prof to-

" _Warn us in advance_!" Merlin continued, an annoyed look on his face. "He called it a _pop quiz_ , Arthur. You tell me: does a pop quiz cover everything we've learned so far this term? No? That's because it's a bloody _exam_." He started to tug on his bowl cut. "He's out to get us. He'll put something on there-"

"That we haven't actually covered yet," Arthur sighed. "He won't, Merlin. Professor Gaius is fair. We'll be prepared for it."

Finishing each other's sentence was a thing they did all the time but never seemed to notice. And once they got going, they wouldn't stop for _hours_. And what's more, I could never figure out what the hell they were actually talking about. It was maddening. And sort of creepy.

I cleared my throat. My two very frazzled friends stared at me, clearly only just noticing that I was standing there. "What," I managed, feeling a small twinge of panic. "What exam?"

"The chemistry exam!" Merlin looked cross. "The one that's-"

"'Completely comprehensive and will determine your grade this term.'" Arthur quoted in a mock imitation of Gaius's voice.

"Ah, right," I said, as though I had known about this exam all along. "Anyway," I said hurriedly. "I received another, uh, _gift_ from my secret admirer."

They immediately perked up. I took a seat and launched into an explanation of the banner I'd discovered in the common area. After I'd finished, Merlin leaned forward, looking triumphant.

"Gwaine," he said excitedly. "Do you know what this means?"

"Someone's a creepy creeper who creeps and broke into the boys dorms?"

"No," Merlin said, eyes glinting. He glanced at Arthur and they once again indulged in The Look.

"Then what?" I demanded testily.

"Gwaine, the banner was in our common area. To get into our dorms the person would have to be in-"

"Our house," Arthur finished.

"That's right!" I exclaimed excitedly. "That narrows the list down." But it was short lived as I soon realised what, exactly, that meant. "So... It's a bloke then." Huh. Surprising, really. I got the distinct impression that it was a girl, what with the glitter and romantic notions.

I looked at Merlin, hoping for more insight, but his undivided attention was on Arthur.

Arthur, who was staring down at his hands and turning an interesting shade of red.

"Arthur," Merlin began hesitantly. "Did you...?"

_What_.

Arthur blushed an even deeper shade of red. "I.. May have, uh... Sort of-"

"Stars, Arthur," Merlin threw up his hands in frustration. "Out with it!"

"I put the banner up," he whispered guiltily and sunk further into his seat.

Merlin and I stared at him.

"You?" Merlin squeaked.

Arthur nodded and shifted uncomfortably.

"So, you're..." I stammered, feeling the colour drain from my face. "You're my secret admirer?"

Arthur finally looked up, looking completely startled. "What? No!" He exclaimed loudly. "Stars no," he assured me. "It was a favour."

"Oh thank god," I said, and sagged in relief.

"Hey!" Arthur shouted, sounding offended. "So what if I was? What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, Arthur," Merlin assured him. "You'd make a lovely secret admirer."

I rather thought he'd missed the point entirely.

"Right, okay..." I said. "You know who it is then?"

Arthur shifted uncomfortably again. "Yeah."

"Who!?"

He ran his hands through his hair and dragged them down his face. "I can't say," he said apologetically. "I gave her my word."

"WHAT?" I shouted. "What do you mean, 'you gave her your word'? I thought we were mates!"

"Mister Orkney!" Monmouth the Librarian admonished from somewhere in the stacks. "Do keep your voice down!"

I scowled. "What do you mean, you gave her your word?" I demanded again, though in a much quieter tone.

Arthur shrank further into his seat. "I _mean_  that I made a promise not to tell you."

"You're supposed to be my mate, Pendragon!" I yelled hotly. "You have to tell me!"

"Look, Gwaine," he said, sitting up little straighter. "Do you know what's it like to fancy someone and have those feelings unreturned?"

Involuntarily, my gaze shifted to Merin.

"Maybe."

"Then you know that it isn't a great feeling," Arthur's stare seemed to pierce right through me.

"You're being unfair, Arthur," Merlin interjected quietly. "How's he supposed to do anything about her feelings if he doesn't know who she is?"

"Yeah!" I slapped my hand on the table in solidarity. "What he said!"

Arthur blew out a breath and dropped his head into his hands. "Alright," he sighed. "Alright." He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. "Elena," he said. "Elena's your secret admirer."

"WHAT?" I shouted. "ELENA? THE POTTY PIXIE?"

"Mister Orkney, I will not ask again!" Monmouth hissed authoritatively.

"Elena is my secret admirer?" I whispered disbelievingly.

"Oh!" Merlin interrupted. " _That's_  why you've been talking to her so often!"

"Yeah," Arthur confirmed, sounding annoyed. "Also because _she's my friend_."

"Just- hang on, let's rewind a second and hit play," I begged, feeling panicked. " _Elena_  did all of those things for me? Because she likes me."

"Perhaps Arthur would prefer that she like _him_." Merlin cut in.

Wait, what? Had I missed something?"

"Don't be an idiot, Merlin," Arthur snapped. "I'm happy that she likes Gwaine! Though I can't, for the life of me, figure out _why_."

"Thanks, mate."

"Idiot?" Merlin repeated incredulously, slamming his book for emphasis. " _I'm_  the one who's being an idiot?"

"MISTER EMRYS!" Monmouth shouted.

Arthur scoffed. "I don't have time for one of your snits, Merlin."

"One of my whats?"

"As fascinating as this all is," I interrupted. "Can we get to the part where we discuss the fact that Elena likes me?"

"What else would you call it?" Arthur asked angrily.

"I dunno, infatuation maybe?"

They both turned to stare at me.

"Ah. That wasn't directed at me, was it?"

Merlin pushed away from the table and knocked his chair back when he stood up. His eyes glinted gold and he stared Arthur down. Arthur, to his credit, didn't so much as flinch.

"MISTER EMRYS, MISTER PENDRAGON, AND MISTER ORKNEY, THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH." Monmouth bellowed. "PLEASE TAKE YOUR PERSONAL AFFAIRS OUT OF MY LIBRARY!"

Merlin set fire to Arthur's tie and stomped out of the library.

Wow. Merlin was stomping away from someone who wasn't me. I needed a moment.

The moment ended abruptly when Arthur fell out of his chair while attempting to put out his tie.

"Arthur," I asked slowly, not wanting to earn his ire. "What the hell was that?"

He stood up and brandished his charred tie. "What does it look like, Gwaine."

"A bit like my mum's cooking, to be be honest," I answered. "But that isn't what I meant," I clarified. "What was that with you and Merlin, just now?"

He fell into his chair with a sigh. "I have no idea."

"He was pretty angry."

"Yes, I'd noticed that, Gwaine. Well spotted."

"No, I mean _really_ angry," I insisted. "I don't think I've seen him lose his temper like that before."

"Thanks, Gwaine."

"Arthur," I marvelled. "I don't think he's ever been that angry with _me_ before." I sat back in my seat, perplexed. "And that's saying something-"

"Yes, thank you, Gwaine."

"No, seriously. What did you do?"

"Stars, Gwaine, I already told you!" He shouted angrily. "I don't know! Can you please just drop it?"

"Fine," I muttered. "Everyone's in fine form tonight."

Arthur shot me an annoyed look, but didn't say anything more.

"Is Elena really my secret admirer?"

"Yes," Arthur answered through gritted teeth. "She's liked you for ages."

"Really?

"Yes, Gwaine," he said tiredly. "She can be... She's really persistent when she puts her mind to something."

"I've noticed." This entire situation was making my head hurt.

Arthur pinched the bridge of it nose. "Just," he breathed. "Just give her a chance."

I considered him for a moment and felt as though a lightbulb had suddenly flicked on in my head. "Do you maybe..." I stammered. "Was Merlin right? About you fancying Elena?"

"No," Arthur said without hesitation.

"But the other day, you said that she underst-"

"Death," he interrupted. " _That_ is what she understands about me." He glanced over at me, a sad look on his face. "We're connected because we've both lost someone we love."

"Oh," I said. "That's... Really bloody depressing, actually."

Arthur merely nodded and I began to wonder why he hadn't just explained all that to Merlin. It would have saved the both of them a whole lot of trouble.

Arthur stood and gathered his things. "Be gentle with her, at the very least," he pleaded. "Rejection is difficult to handle at the best of times. It's soul crushing at worst."

"Uh... Right. I'll... I'll do that." I stammered. "Thanks, Arthur."

If I decided to reject her, that was. Not that I did fancy her or anything. But for once, Arthur was right. Elena did deserve a chance. And yeah, alright, she may not be the most traditional lass on the block, but she did have several things going for her. She was obviously clever, if she had come up with this whole thing all on her own. She understood my love of food. And she must be some sort of brave (or insane) to carry this out in front of the entire school. It was like she didn't care who knew that she was in love with me. That's... Pretty incredible.

"How should I go about this, d'you think?" There was no response. "Arthu-"

"MISTER ORKNEY! NO TALKING TO ONESELF IN THE LIBRARY!" That seemed a little extreme, even for old Geoffrey.

I did a double take. Apparently Arthur had taken off while I was busy staring into space. He's a real mate.

"Right, sorry, Mister Monmouth," I apologised and stood up. "I'll just go out into the hall and talk to myself out there, shall I?"

"See that you do." His Brow of Doom could use some work. Perhaps Professor Gauis could teach that as a tutorial rather than chemistry.

I felt slightly better as soon as I walked out the door.

"At least I listen to myself when I talk, which is more than can be said about those two idiots!" I muttered indignantly. "They wouldn't notice me if I was starkers and dangling from the edge of a cliff!"

"Gwaine," said a song-song voice. "You're planning to go cliff jumping?"

And there she was, the source of my crazed confusion. Perfect! Lovely timing. Arthur probably put her up to it too, the stupid git. I could hear it now, "Elena, guess what? I've just left Gwaine all alone in the library and he has no idea that I've even left. Corner him while you can!"

"Corner who?" Elena asked, her brows knitting together adorably.

Had I said that out loud?

"Ah, Elena!" I exclaimed all suave-like in an attempt to distract her with my charm. "How are you this fine evening?"

She blinked her large eyes. "You're very strange," she said.

So much for my being a master of deflection. "I am?" I asked, feeling an embarrassing blush creeping up my neck. Why was she looking at me like that? WHY?

"Yes," she answered, taking a step closer. "You're a bit mad, really."

"I'm mad?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," she repeated. She smiled and I realised that she was actually quite pretty. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders and her eyes seemed to sparkle (what _was_ that? More glitter?) with obvious amusement. I did that. Me. I amused her! For some reason, that made me feel very proud.

I puffed out my chest. "Thank you! You're a bit of a nutter yourself."

Elena grinned. "Why, thank you! Though I'm not quite as mad as you."

My eyes wandered to the glitter dusting her cheekbones and the splotch of ink on her chin. It was also pretty hard to avoid the flashing blue fairy pin on her lapel that was completely against dress code.

"I suppose that's quite the compliment, coming from you."

She positively beamed. I made her beam! Thankfully I managed to stomp down on the urge to perform a happy dance. That would've been embarrassing.

She leaned forward. "It's all in the eye of the beholder, you know," she whispered. "Madness."

"Is it?" I asked.

"Oh yes," she tilted her head to the side and met my eyes. Her eyes were a deep blue, a bit like the ocean, really, and I found myself drowning in them.

Bleeding fucking hell, I just compared her eyes to a random body of water. What is wrong with me?

I couldn't quite suppress my grimace. If I was going to start waxing poetry, there damn well better be a good reason for it!

Unfortunately, I had lost control of every single one of my motor skills and couldn't look away from her piercing gaze. This was a very new, and not at all unwelcome, feeling.

"Yes," she said again, eyes still looking right through me. "Arthur, for example. He's one of the sanest people I know."

"Arthur?" I raised my brows. "Sane? Have you _met_ him?"

Elena's smile widened. "Indeed I have," she answered. "In fact, I daresay that I know him quite well. All of those stories in the papers, and the way the other students talked about him - I was disappointed, when we met."

"Disappointed?"

She nodded. "I thought he'd be a bit more interesting, but,"

"He's not, really," I finished for her, mentally apologising to Arthur as I did so.

"But you," she poked me in the chest and stood on her toes in an attempt to level her eyes with mine. "You are completely mad."

I couldn't help but grin and leaned closer. "I dunno, most girls prefer The Princess-"

"Oh, I'm very fond of Arthur," she whispered. "But..."

"But?" I asked quietly and closed my eyes.

Her lips were feather soft as they grazed mine. She pulled away at nearly the same moment, so quickly that I was beginning to think I had imagined the whole thing. Only, I was pretty sure I hadn't. Elena had just kissed me! And I didn't mind! In fact, I welcomed it. I wanted her to. I enjoyed it!

I swayed for a moment and felt bereft when she pulled away completely. "Elena?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Gwaine," she sing-songed.

"That's it?" I blinked rapidly. "You're just... Going?"

There was something in the way she looked at me that I couldn't quite put my finger on. She stared at me with an air of indifference, but it was different somehow, like... Like she was excited? Smug? Knowing? It was driving me crazy. I felt an intense need to know what that secretive smile meant.

"One step at a time," she said, walking backwards. "Enjoy cliff jumping!"

"Cliff jumping? Wha-"

My mind was spinning. The world no longer made any sense. It was spinning off its axis and right out of orbit.

This was so not the time for earth shattering metaphors!

"I'll see you tomorrow!" She repeated.

"Yeah, you've..." I stammered. "You already said that."

She giggled and turned around, walking away from me. I stared after her, watching her back as she moved farther and farther away. I also took the opportunity to check out her arse. I stood there for a long time with my mouth somewhere near my feet.

What the hell was happening to me? Comparing her eyes to the ocean? Kissing her? Creating elaborate metaphors about the earth and spinning and orbits? Stars, I needed help. I needed...

Merlin!

Yes! Merlin! Merlin would know what to do! He was usually okay with all of this ~feelings~ nonsense. All I had to do was tell him what happened and he would tell me why I was acting like an idiot all of the sudden and it would... Be fine. It would all be fine. He had helped Arthur out with the whole Gwen thing last year. Without Merlin, Arthur would have royally fucked up. Of course, even _with_  Merlin he had still managed to fuck up, but at least Gwen got Lance out of it and Merlin was there to pick Arthur up off the floor.

Suppose you couldn't blame a bloke for trying.

With my new plan firmly in place, I hightailed it to the dorms. I found Merlin curled up on the sofa with a monstrous book in his lap. I rushed over to him, wheezing as I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating.

Merlin stared at me. "What happened to you?"

Wasn't he just supposed to take one look at me and _know_ what was wrong? He did it with Arthur all the time!

"Are you sick?" He asked concernedly. "Can I get you anything? I think I still have that numbing tonic from the last time Arthur got those giant oozing throat sores-"

"NO!" I shouted. "No, I just... Need your help." I loosened my collar in an attempt to free up some breathing space.

"Yes, I can see that," Merlin deadpanned.

"It's..." I struggled to find the right words. "It's about Elena."

"Stars, is she alright?"

"YES!" I hollered. "I mean, no... Something happened."

He sprang to his feet, looking slightly panicked. "Oh god, who died?"

"Wait, what?"

His hands clawed into my shoulders and he shook me roughly. "I said, Who. Died." He looked at me as though I was suffering from some sort of mental affliction. "You look like you're about to pass out, which can only mean one of two things: either someone hid a goat in your room again, or someone died." He stared deeply into my eyes. "Gwaine," he said solemnly. "There is no goat."

"Elena kissed me."

Merlin stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And then he laughed. Great big gales of laughter, complete with stomach clenching and tears.

"Oh, thank goodness," he hiccuped between giggles. "From the look on your face I'd just assumed that something terrible had happened!"

"Something terrible did happen!" I flailed a little. "Elena kissed me! I'm waxing poetry! _The earth is spinning out of orbit_ "

He continued to laugh. "Oh, Gwaine," he said fondly. "What would you like me to do about it?"

"I don't know!" I wailed. "Can't you just... Get inside of her head? Tell me what she's thinking? You did it for Arthur last year, remember? You seemed to know exactly what Gwen was feeling-"

He abruptly stopped laughing. "Don't mention that complete dollophead's name!"

"Who's name?"

"Arthur!" He yelled. "Don't mention Arthur's name! I don't want to talk about him."

"O..kay?" I was very confused. "We can talk about Elena instead-"

"It's just completely stupid, you know?" He continued on as though I hadn't spoken. "Ten years!" He exclaimed. "Ten years and he still hasn't realised what is literally right in front of him!" His eyes glinted gold in the low light. "He takes me for granted and I'm sick of it." He went from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. "I'm so sick of it."

"What's right in front of...? Merlin, what the bloody hell are you on about?"

Getting back to angry took no time at all. "It's because you're all so stupid!" He shouted vehemently, jabbing a finger at my chest. "The whole lot of you!"

"Merlin!" I yelped. "Why are you poking me?"

"Because you deserve it! You never notice!" He ground out. "You." Jab. "Never." Jab. "Notice."

"Who are we talking about here?"

"Arthur!" He bellowed. "See? You never listen either!"

"We're," I rubbed my sternum. "We're talking about... Arthur?"

"NO!" Merlin hollered, face so red that I could practically feel heat radiating from it. He jabbed me in the chest again. "I'm talking about you! You... Lads! You and your stupid lad-like... Lads."

"Right..." I said. "Thanks for clearing that up."

"AND WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SAYING HIS NAME?"

"I'm... Sorry?" I whimpered.

"You're all blind, the lot of you! Blind and... hopeless!" He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Even bloody Kilgarrah can see it, and he's a completely senile centuries old dragon who does nothing but lurk in the first floor toilets!"

He stopped his completely incomprehensible rant and glared at me with glowing eyes. "But no," he breathed. "Not him. Never him."

"Uh, mate, this is all very interesting, but-"

"'No, Merlin, I don't think your bowl cut is stupidly unattractive and accentuates your ears,' he said." His voice dropped. "Could've fooled me."

I was beginning to think that talking to Merlin may have been a mistake. I patted him awkwardly on the head.

"It's alright, mate," I murmured quietly. "We all get fooled once in a while."

He collapsed against me, his head butting right up against my heavily bruised chest. "What am I going to do?"

Things were quickly going from bad to worse. An angry sorcerer was blubbering into my shirt and I had no idea why, and I still didn't know what to do about Elena.

"It'll be okay, mate," I said gently.

"He's just so... What is it going to _take_?"

"Uh..." I tried to pry his hands from my jacket, but he wasn't going anywhere. "Merlin, I'm really sorry. I didn't realise you were... I just wanted some advice. You're really great when it comes to feelings and stuff." He snuffled into my shirt. "Usually."

He thumped me on the chest again. This was really starting to hurt. "Is that what I am to the pair of you? Some sort of all-knowing oracle you can run to whenever a girl does your head in?"

"No, of course not," I placated. "I just... Look, I shouldn't have brought it up, I just-"

"Do you fancy her?" He asked abruptly.

"Who?"

He stepped back and rolled his eyes. "Elena." He clarified. "Do you fancy her? Do you think she's pretty? Did you enjoy kissing her?"

Whoa, this was getting way too personal and invasive! Not to mention the fact that I was trying very hard _not_  to think about those things.

"Yes."

Oh balls. Did I just-?

"Then I think you have your answer," he smiled and kissed my cheek. "Maybe you're not so stupid after all."

He gathered his things and left.

It was then that I realised my mistake.

I glanced from the wall to my bedroom door and back again.

I ran to my room in a panic, praying to all that is holy that Arthur had thrown the blasted thing away before anyone else had seen it.

But it was too late.

I burst through the door and there it was. The banner, hanging up in all of it's glittering glory right above my bed.

"Well, Orkney," Elyan began with a leering grin. "What a lovely piece of... art, you have here."

"A thing of beauty!" Leon supplied from where he was perched on the chest of drawers.

Percival sniffled. "Nearly brought a tear to my eye when I saw it."

Someone snickered. I glanced around and found Lance with my pillow shoved against his face in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Only Arthur seemed unaffected; he had barely glanced up when I had hurtled through the door. Then, apparently having decided that he wanted nothing to do with us, rolled over and left his back to me.

What a mate. Good to know I can count on him in a crisis.

"Oh, Gwaine!" Elyan wailed and clasped his hands beneath his chin like a Disney princess. "You can be my king any day!"

"You're already my king, mate," Percy assured me.

"Please shut up," I begged.

They showed no signs of giving up so I jumped up on the bed and tried in vain to tear the damned thing down.

Leon and Elyan collapsed into a fit of laughter. I could hear Lance snorting into my pillow.

Merlin was right. The lads are awfully stupid.

I tugged on the banner as hard as I could and it finally came down. It's timing was unfortunate, and momentum chose that moment to drop my arse to the floor.

This, of course, only made them laugh harder.

It was official. This was the worst day of my entire existence, and that includes the time with the goat and the time I got attacked by a giant brain. Yeah, today was definitely worse, I decided. Much worse. In fact, I was beginning to _miss_ the brain.

But not the goat. The goat can fuck off.

"Obviously, you're all jealous," I growled as I ripped the banner to shreds.

"So," Leon began. "When's the wedding?"

"Are we all invited?" Asked Lance.

"Just bloody shut up, will you?"

"Who's the Queen?" Percy asked wonderingly.

Lance snorted into my pillow again.

Worst. Day. Ever. "I don't know, Perce," I hissed through gritted teeth. "If I did, then it wouldn't be called a _secret admirer,_  would it?"

"Then who do you want it to be?"

Why do people keep asking me that?

"Wouldn't you like to know," I snapped. "I'm going to bed." I stomped out of the room and dragged the banner with me. I made it all the way down the hall before remembering that we had been in my room to begin with.

Buggering hell.

I looked down at the shredded banner and felt a wave of guilt. I hadn't really wanted to rip it up like that. Elena must have spent a good amount of time on it.

And there I was, thinking about Elena again. Elena, with her blonde hair and large eyes (that in no way resembled an ocean). Elena, who appeared to adore me enough to enchant my pancakes, and make me a pie, and have Arthur hang up a banner for all to see.

Fuck.

I started banging my head against the wall.

Stars, that hurt.

"Stop running into the wall, you numpty!" Came a muffled shout from the other side.

Absolute worst day of my life.

Except for the kiss. That part had been pretty brilliant.

I went back to banging my head against the wall.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur was grumpy.

I didn't really think that was fair. It was I who was suffering from a pounding headache and hideously bruised chest, after all. I also hadn't slept very well thanks to said pounding headache, and what little sleep I did manage to have was haunted by large blue eyes. So, by rights, I thought the bad mood should belong to me.

Unfortunately, when Arthur was grumpy, there was very little anyone could to about it.

"Why don't you just go make up with him?" I asked, as we made our way to the mess.

"Make up with who?" Arthur said as he loudly stomped down the stairs. "I'm not fighting with anyone."

I rolled my eyes. "I think you'd both feel a lot better."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Gwaine," he snapped. The subsequent warning in his tone was loud and clear.

"Look, I talked to Merlin's yesterday," I explained. "He's a bit of a wreck. He-"

" _Don't say his name!_ " Arthur hissed, shouldering me to the side.

Stars. This was worse than I thought. The last time Arthur and Merlin stopped talking it was because of the Unfortunate De-Pantsing Incident of 2015. That, however, was somewhat of a different circumstance.

My point is, this sort of thing doesn't happen all that often. Shocking, I know.

"You probably don't even remember why you're mad at him!" I hurried to catch up with The Once and Future Mope.

Arthur made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "I don't know why he's angry with me. /I'm/ not making the first move. He started it."

Arthur just restored to the logic of a four year old. I needed a moment.

The moment came to an abrupt end when one of us farted.

I'm not saying who.

Arthur stared. I cleared my throat.

"Maybe if you made the first move, Merlin would be more willing to-"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" Arthur screeched, apparently free from his gaseous stupor.

He looked half crazed with his (usually) perfectly quaffed hair in disarray and his face a tad on the puce-y side. I was a little concerned to notice that he had bunched up his fists.

He turned away from me.

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Torture. Him.

Not. Resisting. Well.

"Merlin," I whispered from directly behind him.

Arthur flinched but kept walking.

I waited another moment.

"Merlin!"

He made a low hissing noise but kept on going.

"MERLIN!" I yelled, and it echoed down the corridor.

I suddenly found myself with my back pressed to the wall and an arm pressing against my neck.

"Mar...lin!" I choked out. "Marlin. It's a, uh... Type of steak. Haven't you heard of it?"

"No," Arthur growled. "And I don't recommend bringing it up again." He pulled away.

"You know," I continued, ignoring the fact that I was likely to die a horrible death by doing so. "A wise woman once said that fear of a thing is only increased by its, uh....thingying." That is how it went, right?

"Good job I'm not afraid of a _fish_ then," Arthur snapped from between clenched.

Honestly, if there was some form of male PMS, he'd be the poster child.

I thought it was best to drop the subject and we continued on to the mess in silence.

I immediately searched the room for Elena. I found her right away; she was hard to miss, what with a chicken leg dangling from her mouth like that. She looked up as I entered, her eyes locking on mine. She beamed at me happily with chicken between her teeth and I grinned back at her. It only made her beam harder at me, and that made me, in turn, grin even harder. It was an interesting cycle.

Arthur coughed and I turned to look at him, flushing a little. "Problem?" I asked.

He looked entirely too smug. "No, no problem." He waited a beat. "So... Want to tell me why you're swooning like a lovestruck maiden?"

I led the way to our usual table.

"No one says 'maiden' anymore, Princess, and no, I don't."

Merlin, who was already there, eyed Arthur warily as we took our seats. Arthur didn't even bother to acknowledge Merlin's presence.

"Good morning, Gwaine," he greeted stiffly.

"Morning, Em," I returned cheerfully.

"So," Arthur deliberately turned in his chair to face me and said, "are you going to give Ellie a chance?"

Well, that just made it awkward _er_. "Yeah," I swallowed. "I think it's possible that I might fancy her. A little."

"A little?" Merlin snorted. "From the way you were carrying on yesterday..."

"Gwaine," Arthur interrupted coolly. "Will you tell Merlin to keep his nose out of other people's conversations?"

"Um," I said faintly, and began to loosen my collar.

Merlin stiffened. "Gwaine," he said, equally as frosty. "Will you inform Arthur that he's got a giant stick shoved his arse?"

"Um," I said again.

Arthur was glaring daggers at Merlin from across the table. "Gwaine, will you please enlighten Emrys to the fact my arse is just fine, thanks!"

"No!" I shouted. "I _refuse_  to talk about your arse!"

The caf became hushed.

The other students stared.

I cleared my throat.

Merlin snorted into his tea.

Arthur glared.

And thus, our meal continued:

"Gwaine, will you ask Arthur to pass the sugar?"

"Gwaine, will you ask Merlin to pass the orange juice?"

"Gwaine, will you ask Arthur to stop chewing with his mouth open?"

"Gwaine, will you ask Merlin to kindly shut the fuck up?"

My poor aching head. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. I began to sympathise with Arthur a little. No wonder he was always in such a bad mood; he and Merlin had been at it less than a day and I was about ready to go drown myself in the gents. And Merlin and I had been bickering for _years_.

"Gwaine, could you-?

"NO!" I cut in, trying and failing to remain calm. "Urgent meeting, must go! See you later."

I rushed off, barely noticing that I was heading directly for Elena's table. I needed some sympathy and was fairly certain she'd be up for providing it.

I collapsed into the seat next to her and aggressively rubbed my temples. "Hi."

"Hello, Gwaine," She gave me a measuring look. "Does your head hurt?"

“So much…” my eye started twitching. “I can't think straight.”

“Heavy thoughts?” She whispered, an unreadable look on her face.

“No,” I said. “No. It's Arthur and Merlin's bloody bickering.” I slumped down on the table, leaning my forehead against it. “I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss the days when Merlin merely sniped at /me/."

“You're in love with him,” Elena said softly.

Well. It was good to know that we were going to be getting things out in the open so quickly.

“Of course,” I said, in what I hoped was a casual tone. “He's one of my best mates.”

“You know what I meant.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “Please,” I whimpered. “My head really does hurt.”

She laughed softly. “Should I take you to Professor Gauis? I hear he makes a wicked-”

At that moment, Merlin's enraged voice rang out across the hall.

“Leon, will you PLEASE tell ARTHUR to STOP looking in my direction?”

Followed by Arthur's retort.

“Leon, will you PLEASE tell MERLIN that looking in his direction is the LAST thing on my mind?”

“Oh stars," I moaned. “Make it stop, I'm begging you.”

Elena giggled behind her hand. It was a pretty sound, her giggling. Next thing I knew, the sounds of the mess were muted and I found that Elena's hands were covering my ears. I blushed, but felt a rush of relief. I looked up at her and we stared at each other for a very long time, until the rest of the room faded into a blur of colours and noise.

I licked my lips. “Do you think… do you think it'd be okay if I kissed you?”

Her eyes lit up and she said… something.

“WHAT?” I hollered.

She said something again.

“What? SPEAK UP, WILL YOU???”

She rolled her eyes and removed her hands from my ears. Oh. Right.

“You're mad,” she whispered, grinning.

“So?” I leaned forward. We were even closer now. “I thought you liked that in a guy.”

“I like it in you.”

There was a definite jolt there. And a pleasant feeling of warmth pooling in my stomach. I leaned closer to her until our foreheads brushed.

“Can I kiss you?” I breathed.

“If you'd like,” she said. “Though very many people will see.”

“Don't care,” I responded, feeling her breath on my cheek. “Unless… do you…?”

“No,” she said hurriedly. “No, I just thought…”

Fuck it. I leaned in, pressing my lips up against hers. Explosions! Fireworks! Bombs going off! The Earth was definitely rocketing towards the sun!

We pulled away and continued to stare at each other, a little bit dazed.

“Wow,” I breathed. “Wow…”

Elena continued smiling at me. “You're an excellent kisser, Orkney.”

I flushed. “Really?” I asked eagerly.

She leaned forward again. “Yes.”

We smiled at each other and I felt… wonderful. Elated. Ecstatic. Smashing. There really weren't enough words in English to cover how I felt.

“Mysteriously, my headache seems to have cleared right up,” I said, still looking into her eyes. There was something about them that captivated me.

“Good,” Elena whispered. “Because your friends have come to retrieve you.”

“Wait, what?”

“Good morning, Arthur!” Elena sung out cheerfully, standing up and breaking eye contact. “How are you?”

“Oh, me?” Arthur responded, sounding irritated. “I'm excellent, really. Never been better. You?”

“Dazed,” she said honestly. “Gwaine has that effect on me.”

I blushed and felt that pool of warmth gathering in my stomach. I stood up shakily next to Elena, feeling like I was facing the gallows. Arthur and Merlin were standing rigidly, identical scowls on their faces. At least they were standing next to each other, even if they didn't look entirely happy about it.

Merlin made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat and glared at Elena. “Well, I hate to break up the moment, but we have class.”

“Oh, you two go on ahead,” I said, feeling slightly malevolent. “I'll join you soon.”

“We'll wait,” Arthur said with a pointed look in my direction.

I chose to ignore it. “No, you two go on. No point in getting in trouble because of me.”

“We'll wait,” Merlin said sharply.

I sighed. “Right,” I muttered, glancing at Elena. “I'll see you later, then.”

She nodded, though her whole attention was fixed upon Merlin curiously. He looked a little uncomfortable and frowned in her direction.

Feeling annoyed, I gathered up my stuff and started off toward the stables. Arthur and Merlin followed on either side of me, bodies stiff and eyes turned to the ground. Great. Not only had they spent the entire morning giving me a blinding headache, but they also managed to destroy a nice, intimate (intimate? Bugger…) moment with Elena.

“Hey, Arthur?”

“Yes, Gwaine?”

“Merlin says he's really sorry. Hey, Merlin?”

“Tell Arthur to go to hell, Gwaine,” he said sweetly.

Not exactly what I had in mind, but it was too good to pass up.

“Hey, Arthur?”

“Yes, Gwaine?”

“Merlin says to go to hell.”

Apparently, Arthur didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.

“Hey, Gwaine?” he said.

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Tell Merlin to shut up.”

Merlin shot me a piercing look and I decided that it probably wouldn't be wise to relay that message.

I cleared my throat. “I think it's possible,” I said hesitantly. “That he may have heard you.” I glanced at each of them, surprised to see matching expressions of misery on their faces. “Why don't you just make up?” I asked quietly. “Clearly neither of you are happy.”

I saw Arthur furtively glance in Merlin's direction before clenching his jaw. “I'll only make up if Merlin apologises first.”

“Guess we're not going to be making up, then,” Merlin snapped.

Swell.

I began rubbing at my temples again. “Stars, you two are murder on my head…”

Arthur sighed and started cracking his knuckles. Merlin huffed out a long breath and started picking at an imaginary piece of lint on his blazer.

I grit my teeth.

The gallows were beginning to look pretty appealing all of a sudden.

Balinor's stables were empty, and there was only a sign pointing out to the clearing. Since we were late, I assumed that the rest of the class had left without us. I followed the sign, striding ahead of Arthur and Merlin. I could practically feel them glaring daggers at each other behind my back.

We crashed through the small clearing of foliage, following the signs that Balinor had left behind. Our silence was broken only by the sounds of Arthur and Merlin sniping at each other.

“Ouch! Arthur, that tree branch hit me in the face!”

“Did it? Tragic…”

“Arsehole.”

“Oh? Did I let go of another tree branch? So sorry about that…”

Hearing the sound of Balinor's voice, I eagerly bounded in that direction. We clambered around another tree and I was very much relieved to see the grouping of familiar classmates.

Then several things happened in quick succession. The three of us got a very good look at Balinor's newest acquisition. Merlin wheezed and I turned around, worried, only to stop dead at the sight of him gripping Arthur's arm, his face pale.

The two of them looked at each other, glanced down at Merlin's hand on Arthur's arm, then looked at each other again.

He had yet to grab onto anyone else in a fright. Though, what started off as something he only did occasionally, he'd suddenly been doing a lot more frequently. Oh, no, Arthur! There's a fly in my porridge! Let me grab your arm! Oh, no, Arthur! I saw a rat in the closet! Let me grab your arm! Oh, no, Arthur! There's a spoon and I'm having flashbacks! Let me grab your arm!

It was very, very annoying.

Arthur and Merlin glanced down at his hand on Arthur's arm again before meeting each other's eyes. Arthur cleared his throat and said. “It's okay, Merlin. I wouldn't let anything hurt you.”

Merlin let go of his arm in favour of throwing both his arms around Arthur's neck. “I'm so sorry!” He all but whimpered.

I just stared at them.

“It's alright, Merlin,” Arthur whispered, holding him tightly. “It was a stupid fight.”

“Definitely,” Merlin agreed. "Let's not do that again."

Arthur looked over at me over Merlin's shoulder, eyebrows raised. “Pat him on the head!” I mouthed, making vague patting gestures in the air in front of me.

“What?” he mouthed back.

I sighed and continued patting the air.

Arthur gave me a disgusted look and started rubbing Merlin's back, making low soothing noises. Well. That'd probably work, too, admittedly. They seemed quite content to go on hugging each other. At least it was a step up from the bickering.

I turned back around, noticing for the first time that the entire class was staring at the three of us. Arthur and Merlin, unfortunately, were too distracted by their touching reconciliation to notice.

I cleared my throat nervously. “Hello,” I said lamely, shifting back and forth.

“Hello, Gwaine,” Balinor said lowly. “Kill, why don't you tell Mr. Orkney what he's missed?”

At the word “Kill” the entire class took a step back. Sure enough, there was Kilgharrah, sitting back on his haunches and playing with trees he'd ripped out of the earth. Pleasant fellow, that dragon was.

Merlin hissed from somewhere behind me and a quick glance in his direction showed me that he and Arthur had stopped hugging in favor of more arm gripping.

Okay, seriously, Merlin, I can understand why gripping Arthur's arm when we were, say, facing flying ghost faces in the middle of the night would be a good idea. Hell, I'd grab Arthur's arm if we were facing them again. But I really couldn't see the point when we were facing a creature that had a good, I don't know, fourty feet on us. Holding on to Arthur would just mean getting set on fire with Arthur.

“So," Balinor continued, ignoring the faces of the terrified students around him. “Which one of you knows what to feed Kilgharrah here?”

There was a collective gulp.

“People?” George volunteered, his voice trembling.

Merlin hissed again. This, of course, only made Arthur feel all “protective” and “manly.”

“Balinor,” he said, beginning to back up, tugging Merlin along. “We're going…”

This was the wrong thing to say, since it brought Kilgharrah's attention to the two of them.

“Young Warlock!” Kilgharrah exclaimed brightly, shifting closer to our group and causing the ground to shake under our feet.

Merlin groaned and ducked behind Arthur.

“Kill," Balinor said warningly. “Don't start.”

Arthur started backing up again, his eyes fixed worriedly on the dragon. Merlin continued to cling to him, but allowed Arthur to steer him out of the clearing.

Once they were gone, the rest of the class looked back at Balinor and Kilgharrah, feeling even more worried.

“Merlin!” Kilgharrah cried. “You cannot escape destiny! The halves must become whole!”

“Yeah, because you've never said that before you big, overgrown lizard,” I said sarcastically.

The rest of class was spent watching Balinor try to control Kilgharrah, while shouting questions at us every once in a while that no one answered. I was beginning to think that Arthur and Merlin had the right idea.

At some point, my mind drifted back to Elena again. I was drawn to her, that much was certain. She clearly liked me - liked me a lot if the secret admirer thing was any indication. But she was right, I'd long had feelings for Merlin. Not love, though. It wasn't love. It couldn't be love. First of all, me falling in love with Merlin was stupid. Second of all, if I did love Merlin (which I didn't), I probably wouldn't be thinking about Elena nearly this much.

The question was, really, what did she see in me? It must have been something big because she certainly went to a lot of trouble to make a point. She even shared her feelings with Arthur. She was awfully confident, too, that I'd like her back.

My headache was beginning to come back.

This. This is where thinking deeply got me.

I sighed, and followed the rest of the class as we made our way out of the clearing. We could hear Balinor in the distance, continuing to yell at Kilgharrah. Well, I certainly hope that taught him a lesson.

I stumbled out of the clearing, surprised to find Arthur and Merlin sitting side by side next to the stables. The fact that they'd clearly been waiting for me didn't escape my notice. I made my way over to them, relieved to see that most of Merlin's colour had returned.

“Hey,” the said, in unison, when I reached them. Good to know they were back on familiar footing.

I held out a hand to each of them, which they grasped, allowing me to pull them to their feet. “How was class?” I asked them, eyes twinkling a little.

Merlin shuddered. “I assure you, Gwaine. After he announced to the entire school that Arthur and I were destined to procreate last year, WHICH ISN'T EVEN POSSIBLE YOU STUPID, STUPID REPTILE, I have no desire to spend any time with him.”

“Yeah, but it was awfully daring of you to run away and cower like that.”

“He was calling my name!” He hissed. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Run over and give him a kiss?” I suggested with a bit of a smirk.

“Shut up, Gwaine.”

“Hey, at least _I_ was man enough to stay there the entire time. I didn't need a big, strong, hero pulling me to safety…”

“Don't bring me into this,” Arthur muttered.

Merlin looked angry now, and he shot me a glare as we walked back to the main building. “What would you know about it?” He snapped at me. “You weren't around last year when Arthur and I had to deal with that thing!”

“Only because the pair of you took off while I was busy trying to win a footie match!”

“Of course!” Merlin said furiously. “How dare we try to save the school from being burned to the ground while you were off fondling balls again-”

“You could've waited until I was done!”

Merlin scoffed and continued glaring at me. “When we left, we were certain you were going to lose, anyway!”

“Hey! What's that supposed to mean? What are you implying?”

By the time we reached the building, Merlin and I were both breathing hard and Arthur was staring at the ground and mumbling to himself.

Soon the three of us were grinning at each other like complete and utter morons. “Well…” Arthur said, flashing us one of his killer grins. Merlin took one look at it and nearly passed out. It made me feel quite faint myself. Damn it, Arthur! Restrain that thing! “It's good to know that some things never change…”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“C'mon,” I said. “Don't tell me you didn't love that, Merlin.”

He blushed and stared at the ground. “Well…” he finally said slowly. “It was very… familiar.”

Arthur and I looked at each other and resisted the urge to burst out laughing. “Don't know how you do it, mate,” he said to me. “Bickering with Merlin is exhausting.”

“Practice,” I said. “Lots and lots of practice.”

Merlin rolled his eyes again. “Well, if it's any consolation, I much prefer bickering with you, Gwaine.” He met Arthur's eyes and dropped his voice. “It was much, much worse, with you. I don't think I've ever had a more awful two days.”

They stared at each other for a long time. “Yeah,” Arthur whispered. “I know what you mean.”

Then, by some unspoken agreement, they joined hands and continued onto the dorms ahead of me. Um, hello, guys? HELLO? Seriously, still here! One of you could turn around now… I wouldn't mind holding Merlin's other hand. In fact, I'd probably be pretty okay with it.

I sighed and trailed behind them, feeling like something significant had happened, but not quite sure what it was.


	4. Chapter 4

Setting a specific time and place to meet up is a thing that people who go on dates do, isn't it? I'm pretty sure that Elena told me to meet her at Avalon at seven. So, that's a date, right? Or is it a meeting? What if it's just all a nefarious plot to drown me in the lake as sacrifice? I am NOT Katniss and I absolutely DO NOT offer myself as tribute, thank you very much!

Oh stars, I can't feel my eyebrows.

“What time is it?” I asked Arthur, feeling a little frantic.

Arthur, who was sitting next to Merlin, glanced down at his watch and sighed. “It's 30 seconds later than the last time you asked me.”

Right.

“What time is it now?”

Arthur clenched his jaw. “Now,” he said in a low voice. “It is 45 seconds later than the last time you asked me.”

I waited a beat.

“And now?”

“Gwaine-"

“Arthur,” Merlin said sighed. “Just tell him what time it is."

Arthur frowned but obeyed. “It's 6:47.”

I resisted the urge to start biting my nails. “Right. How long does it take to walk over to Avalon?”

“Big date?” Arthur asked nonchalantly.

I blushed. “No,” I said immediately. “Of course not.”

“He's meeting Elena,” Arthur said to Merlin knowingly.

“Is he?” Merlin asked, raising his eyebrows.

“He is,” Arthur answered.

“What time is it now?”

Arthur sighed. “Now,” he grit out. “It is 6:48.”

Must. Eat. Nails. “What if I'm late?”

“You won't be late,” Merlin assured him. “It only takes a minute to walk to the lake from here.”

“What if…” I continued, practically gnawing on my hand. “What if a wyvern attacks me on the way there? What do I do then? Then! Then I really will be late!”

“Then,” Merlin said calmly. “You'll tell Elena the truth. Not only will she understand, but she'll be sympathetic.”

“Right!” I said, sagging a little in relief. “What time is it now?”

“Now,” Arthur said, voice very tight. “It is 6:50.”

I started chewing the nails on my other hand. “What should I do? Should I bring her something? Chicken maybe? Arthur, it worked for that one time with Vivian," Merlin tensed up, but this is MY MOMENT TO PANIC AND HE WILL LET ME HAVE THIS. "Are we just supposed to talk? Should I walk her back to her dormitory afterwards? What if we… what if we just stand there and stare at each other like that one time you made us drink that one tincture that'd gone off and we spent the day feeling colours and looking for woodworm?”

“You won't stand there and stare at each other,” Merlin said with infinite patience. "You could take her for a walk around the lake,” he suggested. “That's really… romantic.”

“Huh,” I said. “Certainly has possibilities…”

I trailed off, realising that I had lost my audience. Arthur and Merlin were staring at each other. It wasn't their usual communicative look. No, this one was different. Arthur, for one, looked like something had just dropped out of the sky and landed on his head. Merlin sucked in a breath, his eyes scanning eagerly over Arthur's face.

Mm. That's weird.

I cleared my throat loudly. “Arthur, what time is-”

“Dunno, Gwaine,” he said, eyes still on Merlin. “Just… go.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, still staring at Arthur. “Good to be a bit early.”

I sort of miss the bickering. This shit is gross.

“Well, then… I'll just be off."

Neither of them looked up.

“Have a good time,” Merlin said absently.

“Yeah,” Arthur said, not looking in my direction. “But avoid the water.”

“Kilgharrah peed in it,” Merlin explained.

They dismissed me and went back to staring at each other. Arthur was looking particularly dazed and I was beginning to wonder if something really had dropped out of the sky and landed on his head.

Oh, well. I had more important things to worry about.

I got up and hurried outdoors, the butterflies in my stomach making me feel queasy. What were we going to talk about? So far, our conversations had been centred around my degree of madness. Not the most romantic thing, I had to admit. Though, Elena did seem to take an awful lot of interest in it...

Let's see. What did I really know about her? Not much. I knew she liked fairies. She was very fond of glitter and chicken legs. Oh, yeah, and as Arthur had helpfully informed me, she'd lost her mother when she was just a child.

This was going to go brilliantly.

“Elena, how are those little blue fairies in your head getting along? Do you know if the chicken they serve in the caf is free range? Still grieving over your dead mum? I can sympathise there, my best mate killed his mum on accident, once..."

Right. That was a surefire way for romance. I'd reached the lake and was very much relieved to see that Elena hadn't arrived yet. That would give me time to think. And possibly to vomit behind a bush.

Okay, brain, just think. Think before speaking. Don't bring up her dead mother. Do ask about the fairies, it'll show that I pay attention to what she says.

I was so absorbed in my own thinking that I didn't notice her until she'd come to a stop right in front of me. “Elena…” I croaked out.

She smiled. “Gwaine.”

She absentmindedly began twirling her hair. I stared at her, wondering if I was witnessing her only visible sign of nervousness. Elena always appeared completely calm and collected, like she was never really there. Nothing seemed to faze her, not danger, and certainly not Arthur's temper. But the hair twirling… that meant somewhere inside of her she was feeling just as I was.

Again, I began to wonder what was behind the madness. The girl behind the glitter and horn-rimmed glasses. I felt like it must be some sort of façade, a way to get by. Like she'd started to let her guard down around me. I distantly hoped that she'd eventually feel comfortable enough to let it all down.

With smoothness I didn't know I could muster, I held out a hand. She grasped it and I nodded my head in the direction of the lake. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

By way of an answer, she started strolling forward, her hand in mine. “It's so calm,” she said, staring out at the lake. “But I think…”

“There's a lot going on under the surface,” I finished for her.

She smiled and dropped her chin, appearing lost in thought. We continued on in silence. Unlike in my nightmares, however, it wasn't tense and uncomfortable. There was something soothing about our silence, like we were both comfortably adrift in our own thoughts. I glanced at her every once in a while, entranced by her easy grace.

“Why me?” I suddenly blurted out into the silence.

She turned her head in my direction, not needing to ask what I meant. “You make me laugh.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling disappointed. “Is that all?”

She shook her head. “I've… studied you for a long time.”

“Huh,” I responded in a light tone.

“Sometimes,” she said quietly. “There's more to a person than what meets the eye.”

“Yes, I'm starting to get that,” I muttered.

“We're very different people, you and I," she continued. “But I think that we... compliment each other. That we work well because of our differences.”

Well. She was awfully confident that she'd eventually win me over, wasn't she? Although, considering that we were currently on an evening stroll around the lake (which actually was very romantic, thank you, Merlin), her confidence wasn't all that ill-founded.

I lapsed into silence, pondering her words.

“Merlin and I are very different, too,” I said suddenly.

“Yes,” Elena responded with an air of detachment. I noticed, though, that she'd gone back to twirling her hair. “Do you compliment each other?”

My natural instinct was to immediately say yes. Finally, I just shrugged. "Dunno.”

“Hm,” Elena hummed, staring forward. “He's very jealous of me,” she turned to look at me. “Did you ever notice?”

I stopped. Merlin was jealous of Elena? It didn't seem possible. Elena went against everything Merlin stood for. Merlin loved magic, believed in its order, its laws, and the science behind it. Elena possessed magic but didn't care to know much about it unless it was fae. In fact, describing Elena as Merlin's polar opposite wasn't really a stretch of the imagination,

“Do you mean to say,” I began slowly, feeling butterflies gather in my stomach again. “That Merlin's jealous of what's… happening between you and me?”

“Yes and no,” Elena shrugged. “He feels threatened.”

“What d'you mean?”

“His best friends are both popular, attractive, wealthy, save the world type of men,” Elena explained patiently. “One of his greatest fears is that you and Arthur will eventually find someone that will replace your need for him. Well, mostly Arthur. But you, too.”

“But that's rubbish!” I cried. “What does he think, that Arthur and I would both get girlfriends and he'd suddenly stop being our best friend? We need him. Arthur needs him. He'd be completely lost without him.”

Elena shrugged delicately again. “Some part of Merlin knows that, but human feelings are a rather peculiar thing.” She watched me with her large blue eyes, something unreadable passing over her features. “And I'm very jealous of him,” she said softly. “He has two friends that would do anything for him.”

I felt my heart stutter and mentally cursed myself. Elena put on an impassive mask, but she had feelings like the rest of us. I touched her cheek lightly and tried to smile. “Of course I'd do anything for Merlin. But… I'm pretty sure I'd do anything for you, too.”

Her large eyes blinked once as she considered that. “Okay,” she responded, a smile flirting across her mouth. “Prove it.”

Uh. There was no way this was going anywhere good.

"Prove it?”

“That's right,” she said, nodding her head. “How about a swim?”

My eyes widened and I cast the lake a weary look. “Er, Elena,” I said, trying to sound calm. “I'm not sure that's a very good idea. There's… dragon pee in that lake.”

She laughed and said, “I thought you were some sort of knight."

“Couldn't I, maybe just, I don't know… save you from a scary blue fairy that might possess you and try to take over the world at some point in the future?”

“Mm, could do,” Elena said, staring off into space thoughtfully. “But I'd still really like to see you go for a swim.”

I stared at her for a long time. “Okay.”

I was present for one of the few times that Elena Godwyn was caught off guard. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, beginning to remove my blazer. “I'll go for a swim.”

Elena watched me curiously as I took off my shoes and socks, removed my tie, and shrugged out of my button up.

“But I'm keeping my pants on,” I informed her, blushing a little.

She stared at me unabashedly, giving me a purely male thrill.

She walked with me to the water's edge and I stared down into the lake, feeling a little faint. It seemed awfully dark and sinister all of a sudden. Did I even know how to swim?

“So," I said uncertainly. “Should I jump in? Dive in? Walk in? Cry?”

“Whichever you prefer," Elena replied, watching me with great interest.

“Right.” I gulped and experimentally stuck a toe into the water.

BLOODY FUCKING HELL, THAT WATER WAS COLD!

“It's… a bit chilly,” I managed, wincing as I forced the rest of my foot in the water. Though I couldn't see it, I felt sand beneath my toes and felt slightly more confident. I hissed as I waded further into the water, and watched as it turned an interesting shade of blue. I kept moving forward, every step bringing the water higher. Once I reached waist level, I glanced behind me. Elena had settled herself on the ground, her legs curled to the side.

“If I die,” I said. “I just want you to know that I'm doing this for you.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Well, then," she waved imperiously, "carry on.”

I turned back and stared ahead of me, somewhat horrified to realise that my feet had gone completely numb. In fact, I couldn't feel anything from my waist down. Taking a deep breath, I spread my arms in front of me and plunged forward and bell the watt.

BLOODY FUCKING HELL THIS WATER IS COLD!

I resurfaced quite quickly, spluttering and cursing under my breath. I could hear Elena's delighted laughter echoing off the water and seemingly right through me. Suddenly, the water didn't seem as frigid. I slowly made my way back to shore and tried to remember how to breathe. My lungs were on fire, feeling had ceased to exist in my extremities, and I was pretty sure that I was going to die.

I hauled myself out of the lake and flopped pathetically onto my back to stare at the darkening sky. Elena crawled over to me and I found my vision obscured by a very cute girl with large unblinking eyes.

“Gwaine,” she laughed, wiping my forehead. “That was very brave.”

“Tell me something I don't know,” I muttered.

“Bloody fucking hell,” she muttered, continuing to stroke my face. “That water is cold.”

I'm sure that I could've come up with a charming response to that, but the feel of her hand on my cheek was somewhat distracting. After all, I was a guy and, naturally, it didn't take long for my thoughts to drift away from the lake.

Far away from the lake.

One hearty snog session later, Elena and I made our way back up to the school. WeI were… something, now, I think. An item, I guess. Whatever the hell people called it. I still felt like there was so much of her that she kept to herself, locked away, but I thought I was making progress. I was slowly breaking down her walls.I had a feeling that trust didn't come easily to Elena Godwyn, but she was trusting me. I felt surprisingly privileged.

Curiously, that was the last time we ever mentioned my feelings for Merlin.

* * *

I squelched my way into the dorms with a huge grin on my face. I eagerly made my way over to Arthur and Merlin who were holed up in Merlin's room studying.

That is, if one qualified “staring avidly at each other" to be a form of studying. Had they been staring at each other like that since I'd left?

They had their books open in front of them, but they weren't fooling anybody. Arthur was staring at Merlin with his mouth partially open, a bewildered expression on his face. Merlin was simply staring right back at him with the barest hint of a knowing smirk on his features.

Weird.

I cleared my throat and Merlin managed to tear his eyes away from Arthur to look at me. Arthur merely grunted an acknowledgment.

“Gwaine,” Merlin said, smiling. “How did your date go?”

“Great,” I said, plopping down next to them. “Your idea about taking a walk around the lake was brilliant, Em!”

For some reason, Arthur turned an interesting shade of red at that comment and finally looked away from Merlin's face. Again, weird.

“Romantic, was it?” Merlin asked lightly.

Arthur squirmed uncomfortably.

“Hell yes!” I answered enthusiastically. “Big lake, too. Gave us plenty of time to get to, uh... know each other.”

“It is, isn't it?” Merlin continued in that same light tone. “I once walked around it three times in a row…”

Arthur started coughing violently.

“By yourself?” I blurted out. He shot me a look and I mentally cursed myself. “So… not by yourself, then.”

Merlin just shook his head and Arthur started coughing harder.

I had a horrible, sinking feeling.

“It was Valiant, wasn't it? Probably thought it'd be a great way to…” I trailed off, noticing Merlin's glare. “To… uh… get to know you…”

“No, it wasn't Valiant,” he said with a bit of a smile.

Arthur, still coughing and blushing so deeply that I was afraid his face was going to burst into flames, stood up rather suddenly. “I'm going to bed!” He announced, seemingly in a mild panic. “Glad that things went well with Elena, Gwaine, see you two tomorrow!”

And then he ran (actually ran) to our room, looking like his father had announced his betrothal to a troll. Again.

Merlin was looking rather pleased with himself. “Well!” He said cheerfully, standing up. “I'm feeling quite tired, myself.”

I stood, too, feeling more than a little confused.

“What's gotten into the pair of you?” I demanded. “You two are acting so… weird.”

Impulsively, Merlin leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. He pulled away from me, looking happier than I'd seen him in a long time.

“Let's just say,” he replied ambiguously. “I think Arthur's finally noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

Merlin laughed softly, grabbed a towel off the floor, and strolled out of the room to the showers.

“Hey, wait a minute!” I yelled after him. “You never told me who you went on the romantic lake-walk with!”

He turned around. “Stars, Gwaine. If you haven't figured it out yet… well, I'm sure as hell not going to tell you.”

I stared at him, feeling like there was something really quite large I was missing.

“Hey! Hold it!” I screeched. “Arthur! You and Arthur went on a…”

I trailed off, noticing that he'd already gone.

Then… then something else began to sink it. The weird looks, the fight, the jealous tendencies Merlin had been exhibiting…

There was something going on between Arthur and Merlin.

Must. Stop. Instinctive. Jealous. Feeling.

Not. Stopping. It. Well.

Arthur was my best mate. Best mate. He knew how I felt about Merlin! Or, at least, he should have known! He had better keep his lips to himself!

I took a few deep calming breaths and tried to remind myself that Arthur and Merlin would never start anything without telling me first. It's not like they'd just inexplicably start snogging one night in the common area without any apparent reason.

“What's that, mate?” Percival asked, looking at me oddly. “Who's snogging?”

Oh balls. Did I do the stupid thing, with my mouth, where I speak?

"I didn't say anything.”

“Yes, you did,” Leon interjected helpfully. “You said-”

“Look,” I interrupted irritably. “You lot must be hearing things. I'm going to bed. Big match tomorrow and all.”

* * *

 

There was something going on between Arthur and Merlin.

This was the thought at the front of my mind as I shook Arthur awake the following morning.

He muttered a few curses under his breath and rolled over. "Go'way.”

“Arthur!” I shook him again. “It's Saturday…”

"S'not.”

“We have a rugby match starting soon. Get up, you lazy sod!”

“Don' care…”

What? Since when does he not care about the rugby? Was he really that insistent on avoiding Merlin?

“OI, ARTHUR!” I shouted. “Nimueh's trying to destroy you by KIDNAPPING MERLIN! AND YOU'RE JUST LYING THERE LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES!”

Arthur sat up so quickly, we bashed heads. He barely noticed though, choosing instead to fall out of bed and fly out of the room.

Oops.

That may not have been the best approach.

I charged after him. “Arthur!" I yelled after him. “Arthur! It's FINE! He's not-! Oh balls.”

I did the only thing I could; I tackled him. We went crashing down and landed in a heap on the floor. He pushed me away and thumped me on the head.

“Gwaine,” he hissed, sounding panicked. “What are you doing? We have to save Merlin!”

I shoved him down and sat on his chest to keep him from moving.

Stars. If looks could kill…

“See, the things is…” I started nervously.

“I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” He yelled, looking very, very dangerous.

Note to self: stop pissing off the once and future prat.

“The things is,” I continued, staring down at him. “Merlin's… uh… fine.”

His eyes darkened. “What do you mean, he's fine? You just said that Nimueh was-"

“I LIED!” I shouted. “I was just trying to get you out of bed. Which-" I gestured down to him "behold my success…”

Arthur stared at me for a long time, his eyes first registering relief and then, curiously, fury.

“Gwaine,” Arthur said in a very tight voice. “WILL YOU PLEASE GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!?”

“Oh, right…” I said lamely, scurrying off him.

Arthur stood up, looking murderous. I backed up a step, gulping.

Though, I have to say, the image was slightly ruined by the fact that Arthur was wearing duckie pyjamas. I thought it wise not to mention that fact, however.

“You,” he growled angrily, backing me into a corner.

“Me?” I squeaked, backing up and beginning to sweat. This did not bode well for my future.

“HEY!” Elyan voice yelled. “Arthur's trying to kill Gwaine!”

There were loud “oohs” and “ahhs” as the guys poured out of their respective rooms in order to watch my execution. Perfect. Just perfect.

Arthur didn't appear to notice, as he continued to advance on me, his fists clenched. “Arthur, mate,” I pleaded nervously. “Be reasonable…”

Arthur merely growled in response.

Gulp.

And then, the most miraculous, most beautiful voice in the entire world said:

“What the hell are you two doing?”

Arthur froze and turned around slowly. “Merlin?” He croaked, sounding a little emotional.

Merlin stared at him, his eyes amused when he saw Arthur's pyjamas. Arthur didn't seem to notice and launched himself at Merlin, gathering him up in a tight hug.

Merlin yelped. “Arthur, what…”

Arthur seemed incapable of speech and just held him tighter.

“Oof,” Merlin breathed. “Arthur… I can't breathe…”

Arthur pulled away from him and, with some dignity, turned and swept from the room, shooting me one last dirty look as he did so.

Merlin stood in the middle of the room, looking completely dazed. “Gwaine,” he said, very quietly. “Did Arthur just hug me?”

“Uh…” I stuttered. “It would certainly appear that way.”

“Has Arthur ever voluntarily hugged anyone before?”

“Err… I don't think so…”

Merlin swallowed. “That's… uh…”

“The thing is,” I said, very carefully. “Is that… I possibly may have let it slip that…”

Merlin was looking at me in suspicion. “Let what slip?”

“That, er… Nimueh had decided to take you hostage in order to, you know, destroy Arthur.”

“You said WHAT?” He shrieked.

“I was trying to wake him up. Did quite the bang up job of it, too, apparently.”

“Gwaine Archibald Orkney the Eighth, are you telling me that you told Arthur that a crazed high priestess was attacking me?”

Oh stars, he used my full name. Never a good sign. “I may have, yes.”

“Hey, everyone!” Elyan shouted. “Merlin's trying to kill Gwaine!”

More choruses of “oohs” and “ahhs.” Good to know I was two for two with my best mates trying to murder me.

“Well!” I said, backing up nervously. “You got a hug out of it, so no harm done, really…”

He stalked towards me. “No harm done? Gwaine, how could you be so stupid, throwing one of Arthur's biggest fears in his face like that!”

“At least he'll make the rugby match on time,” I mumbled.

Oops.

Merlin's eyes literally flashed. “Gwaine,”

“Merlin,” I cut in, practically begging. “I'm sorry, okay? It was stupid. I didn't know he'd take it so seriously… honestly, I really thought he was half-asleep. And when I saw how worried he was, I immediately tried to stop him…”

“He was…” Merlin swallowed. “Worried?”

Bloody stars, was this idiot sorcerer blind or something?

“Uh, yeah. His hug nearly killed you! I had to tackle him and sit on him to get him to stop trying to go save you! I'd say 'worried' is a bit of an understatement, actually. Crazed might do.”

“I… really?” He asked hopefully. He frowned. “You sat on him?”

“Let's not dwell on that,” I ground out. “Hardly the point. Anyway…”

“I should go fined him,” he said, chewing his lip nervously. “He could still be upset…”

“Great idea!” I exclaimed eagerly. “Bet he's in there all alone. Probably trying to get out of those ridiculous pyjamas.” I thought a moment. “Don't tell him I said that.”

Merlin was already gone. Well, it was good to see that there was a trend, at least.

This day wasn't going very wel

* * *

 

I went to breakfast alone and sat alone. Not that Arthur and Merlin were ignoring me. No, it wasn't that at all. They hadn't actually appeared yet.

Bloody hell. And we had a match starting in-

Oh, balls. Arthur's the one with the watch.

I was very much relieved when Elena sat down next to me. “Hello, Gwaine,” she greeted me cheerfully.

“Hi,” I said in a melancholy tone.

She looked a little amused by my pity party. Covering my hand with her own, she met my eyes.

“Tell me what's wrong,” she whispered.

Sure! Anything! Keep looking at me like that and I'd happily go for another swim! And in dragon pee, too, I don't mind!

“Arthur tried to kill me,” I pouted, realising that the words sounded somewhat dramatic. “And then Merlin tried to kill me.”

And that sounded even more dramatic.

“Hm…” Elena hummed. “Were they possessed by the Sidhe?”

"No, but with anger, maybe,” I muttered. “It, uh… well, I sort of deserved it.”

“No one deserves to die,” she whispered.

“Well,” I said, with a small frown. “They probably would have stopped just short of killing me.”

She giggled. “They'll forgive you.”

“Dunno,” I muttered, beginning to wonder how much I could milk this for. “Apparently, Arthur doesn't appreciate being told that the crazy witch from last year kidnapped Merlin. He's a little sensitive.”

She stared at me for a moment before breaking down into a howling fit of laughter. “Oh, Gwaine…” she gasped. “You told… Arthur… that,” tears were literally beginning to stream down her face. “That… that….” She choked, apparently unable to continue.

I couldn't help grinning. “Okay, maybe it was a little bit funny. Mostly terrifying, but….” I trailed off uneasily as Elena abruptly stopped laughing and her face turned somber.

“Yes,” Merlin said coolly and I gave a little jump of surprise. “It was simply hilarious. Good morning, Elena.”

I winced and slouched down, doing my best to avoid eye contact. "I really am sorry."

Merlin sighed. “It's okay. No long term harm done.”

I let out a sigh of relief, glad that at least Merlin seemed ready to forgive me. He and Arthur dropped into the seats across from us, Arthur glowering at me the entire time.

Clearly, he and I still had some unresolved issues to work through.

“Arthur," I stuttered, steadfastly looking away from his angry gaze. “Do you, uh, happen to have the time?”

Arthur glanced at his watch. I noticed for the first time that he and Merlin seemed to be rocking matching red eyes. Huh. Interesting. Looked like two people were off having a good cry together. What saps.

“We have 5 minutes,” Arthur said shortly.

“Good,” I said nervously and gestured to the food. “Well… eat up! You're our captain, you know. Must get your energy…”

“It's very true,” Elena said, leaning forward. “Did you ever hear about Aiden Tricco?”

Arthur's eyes flicked over to her and his voice registered vague annoyance. “No,” he snapped.

“Fainted,” Elena said knowingly. “Biggest rugby match of the year and he just… fainted. No food in his system. Poor Auden hadn't been eating right for three whole days-”

“Okay!” Arthur said shortly, reaching for some food. “I'm eating.”

Merlin watched him with a slightly worried expression, but the fact that Arthur wasn't actively trying to kill me anymore was a definite step up.

“Arthur,” I said quietly, trying to catch his eyes. “Do you want to talk?”

“Not to you,” he said from between clenched teeth.

Five minutes later, Arthur and I got up to head down to the pitch and Elena and Merlin rose with us, casting uncertain looks in Arthur's direction.

“We'll, uh… walk you two out." Merlin said awkwardly.

“Good idea,” I said quickly, instinctively ducking behind Elena.

“Best of luck, Gwaine,” Elena said, nearing the caf's exit. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to my cheek before pulling away and looking into my eyes. “You're still my king,” she whispered.

Gulp.

She hurried away, my eyes lingering on her form. Merlin cleared his throat and I turned to look at him, somewhat bewildered.

“Best of luck, Gwaine,” he said, with a roll of his eyes, leaning up and pressing a kiss to my other cheek.

“Err… thanks,” I said hoarsely.

Merlin turned back to Arthur to give him his customary good luck kiss before our match. He always did me first, then Arthur. It had become somewhat of a tradition for us.

Merlin leaned up to kiss Arthur on the cheek and… now this was very interesting, it appeared that he missed. Yeah, some kind of slip up or something. Anyway, instead of kissing his cheek, for some reason he was busily kissing Arthur's mouth. Even more interesting, neither of them seemed to be in any hurry to pull away.

Uh, HELLO? GUYS? Merlin meant to kiss your cheek, Arthur! He got confused! Perfectly understandable… feel free to separate any time… breathing could maybe be nice…

With a groan, Arthur pulled Merlin closer, arms encircling his back. Merlin responded in kind, wrapping his arms around Arthur's neck and deepening the kiss.

Oh. OH! What the fuck!? This was disgusting! What were they doing? WHY? WHY WERE THEY DOING IT? Was that TONGUE? BLOODY HELL!

HOW LONG COULD THEY POSSIBLY SNOG FOR?

Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Didn't either of them know I was forced into witnessing this? What did I do to deserve it?

ACID! I needed acid! Gaius probably had some… probably be willing to give it to me, too. I could burn my eyes out!

THEY WERE STILL KISSING!

FORGET ACID! I WAS GOING TO CLAW MY EYES OUT! I WAS GOING TO CLAW THEM OUT AND I'D NEVER HAVE TO WITNESS MY TWO BEST MATES KISSING EVER AGAIN!

They separated, taking great gasping breaths of air as they did so. Oh, stars… why? Why had I been forced to watch this?

They started rubbing noses, giggling at each other, and staring into each other's eyes. Oh, how sickening. Absolutely disgusting.

“Hm…” Arthur hummed with a smile. “We should go, uh,”

“Study!” Merlin interjected. “You have that…”

“Thing,” Arthur said. “Yes, my… uh… really important…”

“Thing,” Merlin said breathlessly. “So very important…”

“Should go do it now…”

“Great idea…”

“AHEM!”

They turned to look at me, completely surprised. Yes, I was still there. Unfortunately.

“There…” I said, my chest heaving. “Will. Be. NO. Studying.”

I grabbed Arthur's arm and physically dragged him away from Merlin and his stupid, distracting lips. Honestly! Can't a boy think about anything else?

“Gwaine!” Arthur said, smacking at my hand. “I have to go-”

“PLAY A RUGBY MATCH!” I hollered.

Some kind of comprehension dawned in his eyes. “Oh, yeah,” he said sheepishly. “We do have a match, don't we?”

“Yes,” I said, continuing to drag him toward the pitch. “We do.”

“Hey, Gwaine," he said slowly. “Merlin and I just kissed.”

“Yes, you did,” I grumbled. “I saw it, thanks.”

“It's all because of you, really.”

“BECAUSE OF ME?”

“Well, if it hadn't been for that trick you played this morning…”

STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

“We probably still would've ended up together,” Arthur continued. “It just would have taken a lot longer. Honestly, it made us deal with a lot of issues right away.”

Why was he still talking about this?

“Why are you still talking about this?”

Arthur ignored me and stared off into space. “You know when you see something every day and it's really very important to you, but you don't notice it until another day when you realise how very important it is to you?”

Uh… no.

“Come again?”

Arthur sighed. “I just feel stupid for taking so long to see what was right in front of me.”

“So that's it, then?” I said, feeling a tad bitter at this point. I mean, it was bad enough I had to witness the two of them playing tonsil hockey, but if Arthur continued to go on about his great new lurve I was really very much afraid I might throw up. “It's that simple? What about the drama and the angst? The 'we can't be together because I have to follow daddy Pendragon and produce golden headed heirs' bit?”

“Yes, we discussed it,” Arthur said, face somber. “And we decided it'd be best to skip it.”

“Skip it?” Another more disturbing thought struck me. “You've already discussed this?”

“Gwaine, it's Merlin. It was a very involved conversation.”

It was so very sad that I wasn't sure whether or not he was joking.

“That sounds…” Pathetic? Horrible? Stupid? “… nice.”

Arthur grinned. Balls. Not The Grin! It was making me forgive him for sticking his tongue down my Merlin's throat.

“Seemed altogether too melodramatic,” Arthur said, still grinning. Blast him!

“Fine,” I said, beginning to come around. “Just promise me one thing.”

Arthur glanced at me oddly. “Okay.”

“Have some mercy and never kiss in front of me again. I almost mauled my own eyes out. I'm going to have nightmares for a week.”

Arthur smirked. “Okay,” he said easily.

Uh oh. He agreed far, far too quickly.

“What's the catch?”

“No catch.”

“There's a catch.”

“There's no catch. I won't ever kiss Merlin in front of you again.”

I was horrified to see that his smirk was actually widening.

“But,” Arthur continued lightly. “I can't make a promise for anything… else… we might do in front of you.”

Snickering, he disappeared into the locker room, leaving me gaping at his back.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Also… ew.

“OI!” I called after him. “We're not finished this yet! It's my room too!”


End file.
